Kaoru stood with hesitation, staring at the imposing door before him. It was intricately designed, with a looping pattern carved into its dark wooden surface. In its entirety, the door possessed an almost otherworldly quality, like it wasn’t meant to be opened. Especially not by someone like himself.
He released a breath and finally knocked, forgoing the doorbell as instructed. His stomach tied itself into knots as he waited. He was anxious, but also excited—almost giddy—despite the circumstances.
The past month had been filled with a lot of self-reflection to say the least.
His past self would’ve felt apprehensive, would’ve found any excuse not to come. But things had changed and Kaoru had changed. He couldn’t wait to see his partner again.
A whole month had passed since he had last seen Rei, but it felt so much longer than that. After everything that had happened, his month-long absence had stretched into what felt like an entire year.
He missed him so much.
A short moment passed before the door opened to reveal the very same person who had invited him over.
"It took you long enough," Ritsu said with thinly veiled irritation, his eyes narrowing. He opened the door wider, gesturing for Kaoru to come inside. "I called you like an hour ago."
Kaoru smiled sheepishly as he stepped into the foyer.
"Sorry. I had to make up an excuse to get out of the house. My dad was giving me a hard time about leaving, and yeah…" Kaoru awkwardly trailed off, unwilling to delve too deep into his own family situation. He was sure Ritsu didn’t care anyway.
Ritsu hummed in acknowledgment, moving to shut and lock the front door. With a sigh, he turned to face Kaoru, face drawn into an unreadable expression.
"Just so you know, he doesn’t know I invited you over," Ritsu said flatly.
"He doesn’t know?” Kaoru asked, staring in bewilderment.
“Nope.”
Rei hadn’t wanted any visitors during his stay in the hospital, hadn’t responded to anyone’s messages since being discharged.
“Why did you invite me over then? He probably doesn’t want to see me.”
Ritsu didn’t share Kaoru’s doubt. With a shrug, he replied, "That idiot needs to stop sulking in his room and you seemed like the best option to get him out."
"Are you sure?" Kaoru asked, eyebrows drawn in worry.
Ritsu rolled his eyes. "Stop worrying. If he'd let anyone in, it'd obviously be you."
"What about you though? You haven’t been able to get him to come out? I thought you were his favorite person."
"I’m not his favorite anymore," Ritsu responded frostily. He then pointed at Kaoru with a sneer. "Take your shoes off so I can bring you to that idiot's room already."
Kaoru nodded, quickly crouching to untie his shoelaces. He could practically feel Ritsu’s piercing gaze as he removed his shoes, placing them with the two other pairs in the entryway. As he straightened back to his full height, looking down at Ritsu, Kaoru said, "Ok, I’m ready. Lead the way."
Ritsu said nothing in return, only gesturing for him to follow. He certainly knew how to strike up an eerie silence.
It must run in the family, Kaoru supposed.
Leaving the foyer, Ritsu led Kaoru up some stairs, then through a darkened hallway. Photos decorated the walls, but Rei seemed to be missing from most of them.
"This is his room," Ritsu said as he stopped in front of the last door on the hallway. His voice was almost a whisper. "You can just knock. I'll be downstairs." With that, Ritsu left, leaving Kaoru to stand alone in front of the door.
I’m so close, but so far, Kaoru thought. All he had to do was knock. Simple enough.
His knuckles tapped twice against the door.
His heart squeezed in anticipation as he waited.
A minute passed, and then another, but nothing happened. He pressed his ear against the door, but couldn’t hear anything.
Maybe this wouldn’t be as simple as he had thought.
"Rei? It's me, Kaoru. I know you probably don't want to see me right now, but—"
Before he could finish, the door opened.
"Kaoru?" Rei’s expression was hard to read. He didn’t smile, but he didn’t frown either, so Kaoru tried not to let it bother him.
"Hi." Kaoru gave a small wave. He was suddenly unsure of what to say.
Rei tilted his head in the same cute way he always did whenever he was confused. The familiarity was reassuring.
"What are you doing here?" Rei asked, his voice weak and raspy.
"Your brother invited me over."
Rei said nothing in reply, only grabbing his door’s handle, knuckles turning white as he gripped it—seemingly about to close the door.
Panic tugged at Kaoru’s heart. In the past, he would’ve run—would’ve readily avoided being vulnerable with another guy—but now, after everything, he knew he needed to be honest. His words came out in a hurried rush as he confessed. "I missed you!"
Rei's hand dropped from the handle. "You missed me?"
Kaoru nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as his face turned red.
"Well, I suppose I can't kick you out now." With a sigh, Rei took Kaoru's hand and pulled him inside, closing the door behind them with a soft click.
Rei’s bedroom wasn’t anything like Kaoru had expected it to be. The room was sparsely decorated—nothing vampire related to be seen. It was just an ordinary bedroom, besides the presence of a western-style bed.
Seated on the aforementioned bed, Rei stared blankly at Kaoru, twisting a lock of unruly hair between his fingers.
"So…" Kaoru awkwardly trailed off, trying to find something to discuss. Somehow, being alone with Rei in his bedroom made him more nervous than all the times he had been alone with girls in their bedrooms.
His eyes drifted back to Rei's hair, gesturing towards his own blond hair as he said, “Your hair. It’s kind of a mess."
While it wasn’t exactly uncommon for Rei to look like he had just gotten out of bed, it wasn’t as common for him to look so absolutely disheveled.
"Oh, yeah? I guess it is," Rei replied flatly, averting his eyes from Kaoru.
"I don’t mind brushing it for you. We can talk or something while I do it,” Kaoru offered.
"You want to brush my hair?"
"Well, yeah. Your hair is kind of all over the place.” Kaoru then hesitated for a moment before quickly adding, "And I know you probably don’t feel like talking, so you don’t have to, but I just want you to know I’m here for you, y’know?"
Rei didn’t respond, but he didn’t outright reject the offer either. Kaoru gave him a hopeful look as he waited.
With a sigh, Rei moved to retrieve his hairbrush from his desk before placing it in Kaoru’s hand. "We can sit on my bed," he said as he sat down, beckoning Kaoru over.
They both sat in silence as Kaoru carefully brushed through Rei’s hair—despite its unruliness, it was soft and easy to detangle.
This was the closest they had been in a long time.
Kaoru breathed in, butterflies in his stomach. He hadn’t realized he could miss something as simple as someone’s scent. His fingers played at the back of Rei’s neck, and he shifted closer. It was now or never, he thought, placing the hairbrush aside. He leaned in toward Rei and kissed the side of his neck, eliciting a flinch instead of the gasp he had so often imagined.
Kaoru pulled back, startled. Embarrassed. Mortified.
"Kaoru," Rei cried as he quickly turned to face him, eyes wide and tearful. It was like a dam had broken and now all of Rei’s emotions were flooding out. "We’ve done this before."
Kaoru didn’t understand.
"What are you talking about? We’ve never done this." His hands hovered over Rei, not sure if it was a good idea to touch him again.
Rei sobbed, the sound breaking Kaoru’s heart. "I don’t want to lose you, but I always do. I’ll have to start over again and you won’t even remember this."
Realization dawned on Kaoru. He cupped Rei’s face with both hands as he looked directly into his eyes and said, "Rei, listen to me. You’re not stuck in any time loops or anything like that. This is real, we're real."
Rei returned Kaoru’s gaze, looking into his eyes as if searching for something. Kaoru wanted so badly to help him find that something.
"How are you so sure?"
“Because of graduation. They almost canceled it because everyone thought you were…” Kaoru’s voice trailed off. Everyone had thought Rei had died, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it aloud. Instead, he pulled him into a tight hug as he said, “We graduated, Rei."